TITLE:  Sleepless Nights 
AUTHOR:  Spookette
EMAIL:  spookette@usa.net
ARCHIVE:  Anywhere but please drop me a line and let me know 
:)
CATEGORY:  MSR
SUMMARY: Mulder is undercover and Scully is worried.
DISCLAIMER:  Chris owns them, I just wish he would let me 
borrow Mulder.  I'll return him, I promise :)

----------------------------------------------------

*Scully,  I can't tell you what's going on, but I just had 
to say good-bye and tell you not to worry about me. -M*

I read this note 10 times a day at least.  It's been a month 
since I last saw my partner.  We parted one evening, just 
like all the others before, and when I walked into the 
office the next morning the only thing I found was this 
note. I went to Skinner searching for an explanation and was 
promptly dismissed with "He was needed by VCS on a special 
assignment, agent Scully, and that's all I can say to you on 
this matter."  So now I spend all day organizing our mess of 
a filing system full of cases even older than me, and all 
night staring at this note.  

The worst part is I know he's still close, I've felt him on 
a number of occasions, watching me, checking up on me is 
probably more accurate.  In the parking garage at the 
bureau, during a lunch break, outside my apartment, even 
once when I went to visit my mother.  I can feel that stare 
which I have become so accustomed to, I know it's him, but I 
have no idea exactly where.  The fact that he can be close 
enough to see me, but can't speak to me or even let me be 
aware of his presence could mean only one thing.  He's in 
danger.

It's not like we are lovers or anything, but he is my 
friend, my best friend.  I have come to need him in my life, 
if for nothing else just to keep me off balance.  If he does 
something stupid, like getting himself killed, I will never 
forgive him for keeping me in the dark like this.  I sure as 
hell can't help if I don't even know what's going on.  

Damn phone.  Wasn't so long ago I enjoyed the phone ringing, 
it was usually Mulder with something interesting or at least 
annoying, but now each ring is a constant reminder that it 
won't be him on the other end of the line.

"Scully"  I answer trying not to sound quite as down as I 
am.

"Scully"  Silence is all that greets me.

"Hello?"  Now the panic starts to set in.  Is it him?  Is he 
hurt?

I almost scream when the silence is broken.  "Scully, it's 
me"

"My god Mulder, where the hell are you?"

"I can't say.  I shouldn't have called, but I just wanted to 
say hi."

"Mulder, are you okay?"

"Mulder?"

Christ.  I cannot believe this.  I have had enough.

********

"Agent Scully.  Is something wrong?"

"Yes Sir, there is, may I come in?"

Skinner steps aside to let me in while proving himself not 
as dense as I sometimes believe him to be.

"Scully, if this is about agent Mulder's whereabouts I have 
already told you all I can."

"No Sir, you have told me absolutely nothing.  I need to 
know where he is and if he is in danger."

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing more I can tell you about 
the situation.  VCS needed him and even that was more than I 
should have told you."

"Sir, if you think that I would endanger Mulder or that I 
would do anything to compromise him you are greatly 
mistaken."

He looks at me and just shakes his head.  I can almost see 
his internal struggle.

"I need to know, Sir.  I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important 
to me."

He moves to his couch and motions for me to follow.  I sit, 
almost frightened of what I am about to hear.  My mind 
whirls with images of Mulder injured, captured, dead.  These 
images all go by so quickly I don't get a clear view of any, 
but it's enough to make me sick.

"There have been some brutal murders recently.  They are 
still unsolved.  We had found nothing to link the victims, 
but the murders have all been so violent and methodical that 
what we do know is they are being committed by the same 
person, or group of persons.  Agent Mulder was asked to 
consult on this some time ago because of his profiling 
capabilities.  He did find that all the victims worked in or 
frequented the same area of town.  From the few clues left 
behind Agent Mulder suspected that these are indeed group 
actions and that the members of this group are all employed 
by a company in the area.  He is working undercover for said 
company in hopes he can infiltrate the group and get some 
hard evidence to tie them to these crimes.  This is much 
more than you should know, agent Scully.  He is in no direct 
danger, but if these people suspect they are being watched 
we may never catch them, or worse if they find out Mulder is 
watching them, his life could be in danger."

"But why Mulder?  The bureau is full of agents who 
specialize in these type situations."

"It was Mulder's hunch.  Frankly he insisted on this 
assignment."

"Is he still in the DC area?"

Skinner rests his head in his hands and sighs at me.  The 
look he shoots me is almost pity.  Something in this look 
reassures me that he knows Mulder can handle the situation.  
I just wish that was enough for me.

"Agent Scully.  I wish I could tell you more, but quite 
honestly, I don't even know all the details myself.  I will 
promise you if there is any cause for alarm I will keep you 
posted.  I hope you can just trust me with this."

I want to trust him.  I really do.  I want to just go about 
my business and know that everything is fine.  I want to 
strangle Mulder for yet another ditch job.  

"Please let me know if there is ever any danger or anything 
I can do to help Mulder with this, Sir."  I say as I stand, 
realizing I've learned all I will tonight.  

Skinner sees me to the door, still trying to convince me 
that everything is fine.  When I get into my car I stop to 
think.  I know that Mulder is still in the area.  Skinner 
would have answered my question if not, but I already knew 
this.  I know that Mulder is not in danger...yet.  I know 
that I should let it go and just wait for him to wrap up 
this case, but he's had long enough, I want him back.

********

I've replayed every word Skinner said to me on the way home.  
Trying to figure out if there was any clue to something he 
left unsaid.  When I opened my apartment door I almost 
slipped on the piece of paper on the floor.

*Scully, It's late October.  Very exciting.  Year of 
unbalance -M*

What the hell???  

Well, if I had any doubts that Mulder was still close to 
home they are gone now.  But why bother leaving me a note 
that makes no sense.  It's not even October for Christ's 
sake.  

I put my new note in the drawer of my night stand with the 
first, grab a hand full of aspirin and decide to try for 
sleep.

********

When I woke from the nightmare I could still hear Mulder 
screaming my name.  My legs were numb with fear, my clothes 
sticking to me.  Once I caught my breath and was sure I 
could walk I sat up.  In my bathroom I did my best to wash 
the dream away, but that scream just wouldn't stop.  11:30 
PM.  Barely into the night and I had already given up any 
hope of salvaging it.  That's how I ended up in this damn 
hole in the wall of a bar, half way to what could only be 
described as 'shit faced'.  

I know I should stop now while I still have some mental 
capability, but I can still hear him.  If I close my eyes at 
this point I know that I'll see it too.  Mulder, hands 
behind his back, on his knees, gun to his head.  And that 
damn scream.  I could hear him, could see him, but I wasn't 
there to help.  As I fight back the tears I hear him again, 
but this time he sounds different.  He's not screaming 
anymore, in fact I can't even make out what he's saying, it 
sounds more like a mumble, but that is Mulder's mumble.  I 
order another drink to wipe away the sound and something 
hits me.  I can feel that stare again.

"Yeah, I've always had a thing for redheads myself"

Oh God, please don't let this be a dream.  I want to turn 
around so badly, but what if I'm wrong, what if this is just 
the alcohol ringing in my ears.  I almost faint when a hand 
touches my shoulder.

"Care to dance?"

I turn around, tears welling up in my eyes.  When Mulder 
sees this he looks as if I just punched him in the jaw, then 
just mouths 'don't'.  I take a deep breath trying to gain 
some control over myself as he takes my hand and sits next 
to me at the bar.

"Miss?  Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I tell him.  "Just a little down lately."

"How about that dance then?"  

I want to touch him so badly, just run my fingers all over 
checking for cuts, bruises, chip in the back of the neck 
maybe?  It takes every bit of self control I have ever had 
to stop myself.

"I don't know if I could even stand right now."  I say half 
because standing close to him right now would be way too 
much for me to handle in public and half because it's true.

"Cup of coffee then?"  He flashes the most Mulderesque smile 
I have ever seen.  And I am torn between being relieved that 
he is here and screaming that I can't fall into his arms and 
make him promise to never do this again.

"That would be nice."

Mulder looks over his shoulder and throws a wink to the 
crowd.  I turn and see three other men smiling and shooting 
him thumbs up and other assorted 'attaboy' gestures.  Mulder 
calls the bartender over and orders us a couple cups of 
coffee.

"My name is Michael."  He says leaning in just close enough 
for me to barely feel his breath against my skin.  It's now 
I decide that I'm definitely not dreaming.  

"Dana.  Nice to meet you Michael"  I try not to laugh as 
this situation suddenly strikes me as the kind of ridiculous 
thing that seems just right for Mulder and I to be in.

"Dana huh?" He chuckles at me.  "Pretty name, but I wouldn't 
have picked you as a Dana myself."

Just then I think I smiled for the first time since I read 
that damn note.  The note, the other one.  My mind starts 
whirling.  "Late October?"  I ask so quietly I barely even 
hear it myself.  Mulder heard me loud and clear though and 
this brought a Cheshire cat grin to his face.  He leaned in 
close to me and whispered in my ear.

"Sometimes it's what you don't understand that amazes me."

I start to ask again and he cuts me off, changing the 
subject quickly.

"Did you drive here tonight?"  The smile he's been holding 
is replaced by a look of concern and I instantly miss the 
former.

"No, I was out walking and just sort of ended up here."  I 
smile at him hoping his own will return.  And it does.

We make small talk for about ten minutes, saying so much 
more with our eyes than our words.  One of the men Mulder 
was with walked over and said something in his ear.  Mulder 
looked at his watch, then at me.

"Do you live far from here?" He asks me wiggling his eye 
brows and I almost laugh out loud.

"No, just about 3 or 4 miles"

"How bout if you let me borrow your car and I can meet you 
guys back here in a few minutes?  I'd like to make sure my 
lady friend makes it home okay."

The man grins at him, looks at me and hands Mulder his keys.  
"Chivalry isn't totally a thing of the past I suppose."  He 
says with a wink.

"Your chariot awaits ma'am."  He offers me a smile and his 
arm.  I accept both and follow him out the door and down the 
street to a late model Chevy parked on the curb.  Mulder 
opens the door for me, helps me strap in and walks around to 
the driver's side.

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Mulder" I say before he even makes 
it all the way into the car.  

"Name's Mike"  He says as he starts the car.

"October?"

Mulder laughs at me.  Full throat laugh.  I have yet to be 
let in on this joke, but he is contagious and I can't keep 
from laughing myself.  In far to few minutes we reach my 
apartment building.  Mulder comes around the car to open my 
door and help me out.  He walks me to my door in silence.  
As I look down, fiddling with my keys the words "I miss you" 
escape me before I even realize it.

Mulder puts his hand on my back, moving it slightly and 
simply says "I know".  I turn to him, burying my head in his 
chest, no longer able to hold back the tears.  I feel 
Mulder's arms wrap around me and it feels so damn good.  "I 
wish you could stay"  I manage to say between sobs.

"Me too."  I can hear the shakiness in his voice.  He kisses 
me on top the head and gives me a good tight squeeze.  "I'm 
sorry, Scully, I need to go."

I can't even look at him.  I open the door, walk in and 
close it all in one motion.  My legs cannot take me any 
further than there as I slide to the floor and let my tears 
escape without a fight this time.  I must have cried for 
almost half an hour before picking myself up and walking to 
my bedroom.

After debating whether or not dressing for bed would be too 
much effort, I decided to find the basketball jersey of 
Mulder's I had somehow ended up with.  My bedside table 
caught my eye as I turned and next thing I knew I was 
studying that second note.  What was too obvious?  I read it 
over and over, read it backwards, tried to scramble the 
words.  Nothing.  Then it hit me, had been right in my face 
the whole time.  How could I be such a fool.  

*It's Late October.  Very Exciting.  Year Of Unrest.*

*I    L    O         V    E          Y    O  U*

I would have sworn that I was out of tears.  I was almost 
shocked when I felt the first one run down my cheek.  Then I 
felt a dull pain in the back of my head and everything went 
black.

********

My hands are tied.  My neck hurts.  I wonder how long I've 
been sitting here with my head hanging like this.  My head 
hurts so bad I can't even think about opening my eyes.  I 
can hear voices coming from another room though.

"What the fuck are we going to do with her?"

"How did you end up nabbing a fed?  Dammit, this is NOT 
good."

"The new guy in accounting was hitting on her last night.  I 
lifted her wallet and we went back to get her after we 
dropped him off."

"You didn't notice the big gold badge?  Hell, Chris, what 
were you thinking?"

"We were all pretty soused, I don't know.  Shit"

"We gotta talk this over with the guys.  Go make sure she 
won't be able to move if she gets up before we get back."

I let my head drop back down and did my best to steady my 
breathing.  I knew this was one of the men Mulder was with 
last night.  My captor came in the room.  He checked that my 
hands were tied tightly, tied the rope between them to the 
back of the chair and fastened my ankles to the legs.  He 
lifted my head for a second, then let it fall back down and 
walked out.  I lay there still until I heard a car motor 
start and the sound drifted away.

My eye lids felt like 50 pound weights, but I forced them 
open.  A whole bunch of nothing.  One door, one small window 
painted black and this chair that I'm sitting on.  My eyes 
scanned the room looking for anything that could help me get 
free.  Nothing.  Why did I go to that bar last night?  Why?  
And what screwed up chance of fate brought Mulder there?  
How could I have not noticed my wallet was gone?  Shit if I 
had just taken a cab back home I would have noticed when I 
had to pay.  More and more questions coming at me all at 
once.  I need to figure out how to get out of this, not how 
I got into it.  

I have got to get out of here.  If I do, this is quite 
enough evidence for Mulder to bust his new friends.  Damn 
it.  The way he tied my ankles to the back legs of the chair 
I can't even get enough leverage to move.  Oh God.  Mulder.  
He's going to blame himself for this.  He loves me.  Christ, 
why now?  I've got to get out of here.  I've got to get to 
him.

By the time I heard the car pulling up I was no closer to 
forming a plan than when they left.  I held my breath when 
the door to this room opened and shut again.  I didn't think 
there was anyone still in here, but was scared to look.

"She's still there.  Hasn't moved an inch"

"Well I say no big deal.  We do her just like the others, so 
what if she's a cop."

"What about Mike?  Think he knows she's FBI?"

"What difference does that make?"

"What if she told someone about him?  How much did she know 
about him?  If she told one of her cop friends about him and 
they come snooping around that brings the heat way too close 
to us."

"Fuck, man, you are paranoid.  Plus as fast as he was back 
after bringing her home last night she must have blown him 
off pretty hard.  I don't think the annoying guy at the bar 
is exactly who women go yacking about right away.  Hell we 
should do him a favor and let him get the first cut."

"Oh sure, hey Mike, we're gonna kill that bitch from last 
night, wanna help?"

My God, they are laughing.  What kind of sick people am I 
dealing with here.  They are talking about murder like it's 
some kind of joke.  

"So midnight we take her out, hit the park and the hunt 
begins?"

"Yeah, tonight's the night."

"I don't know guys, she's a freaking fed.  We should just 
get her out the way, no games."

"Man, she's probably a paper pusher.  Look at her.  You 
think the four of us can't take her?"

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard the squeal of 
the phone.  Damn I want my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Tonight?  Maybe.  We'll have to make it an early one 
though.  I got myself a late date tonight."

"Ha, yeah, think you can strike out before 11:30 or so?  
Took you a while last night."

It's Mulder.  It's got to be Mulder.

"HELP!"  I scream louder than I thought physically possible.  
The door flings open instantly and two of the men who were 
with Mulder last night and another I don't remember seeing 
come running in and cover my mouth.  

"Just the TV" I hear the man on the phone say.  I recognize 
him as the one that gave Mulder the keys last night.  

"Yeah, man, I'll talk to you later.  I have some things to 
take care of before tonight."

After he hangs up the phone he points it at me.  

"You think you are smart bitch?  Gag her with something."

The men let go of me to do as instructed.

"So you're FBI huh.  Doesn't look like that will do you much 
good now."

"Why me?" was all I could think to say.

"I don't know, hon.  You were there, you were too gone to 
notice when we picked your pocket.  You were easy.  Gag her"

"Ya know.  Maybe if you had been a little nicer to my pal I 
might have let you off.  I'm just sick of people with no 
compassion for others."

That was the last thing said to me before the men all left.  
It's been hours.  The more time that passes the closer it 
gets to midnight.  My mind starts wondering about this 
'game' they have planned.  Will I be able to get away?  If I 
could just get to a phone.  

I ran scenarios and possibilities through my head for a 
couple more hours.  What they could have planned, how I 
could get to some help.  The door swung open and two of the 
men from earlier came in.  One put a black case over my head 
while the other untied my feet and hands from the chair.  
They left my hands tied to each other behind me and pulled 
me onto my feet.  I felt the cool night air hit me then I 
was pushed into a car.  The radio was loud, it didn't sound 
like any of the men were speaking.  One of them was holding 
my head down into the seat and one was tying my ankles 
together.  As far as I could tell we had driven a good 45 
minutes before the door was opened and I was thrown out.  

"We'll be back soon enough bitch" and car tires was all I 
heard, then dead silence.  I hadn't been laying there for 
very long before I heard the footsteps.  I wanted to scream 
out, knew this was it.  I held my eyes closed as tight as I 
could and tried to picture good things.  Running after my 
brothers.  Playing with my sister.  My father teaching me to 
drive a boat.  My mother helping me into my dress on prom 
night (my date helping me out of it).  Mulder smiling at me.  
The circles I drew around that last note that revealed the 
hidden message.

Just as I steadied myself for whatever was coming I heard 
more footsteps.  There was a struggle from the sound of it.  
No one said anything but I did hear a few "umphs" and 
"ughs".  Then it just stopped.  

I struggled against my restraints to no avail until I heard 
more people coming.  At least two this time, maybe three.  
When they got close I heard the struggle again.  This time I 
heard one of the men holler something, it was one of my 
captors.  

When the sound stopped I started pulling fiercely at the 
ropes holding my arms and legs.  My adrenaline level 
unbelievably rose even higher than what it had been for the 
last hour or so.  It felt like I was going to pull my hands 
right off my arms, but I had no idea what was going on or 
how long before they stopped toying with me and just 
finished the 'game'.  I felt the rope cut my wrist and just 
then sensed it.  Sensed him.  Then I heard him, quietly in 
my ear.

"Scully, stop.  Relax.  Trust me."

There IS a God.  

Just then I heard more footsteps coming my way.  I couldn't 
tell if Mulder was still by me or not.  Then when I heard 
the voice I knew he wasn't.

"Looks like I get first cut, bitch."  For some reason this 
made me smile into my gag.  I just wish I could have seen 
his face when...

"Hey, Ben.  Whatcha doin?"

"Mike?  How'd you get out here, man?"

"Want to tell me what you were planning on doing?"

"Hey, man, what's going on?"

And I heard it so clear I might as well have seen it.  Heard 
that hand meets stomach sound echo through the night.

"You set your sites on the wrong person you sonofabitch."

I could hear them fighting, rolling on the ground, heard 
each make sounds of pain.  Then I heard Skinner.

"That's enough agent Mulder, we need him alive for the 
trial."

My hood finally removed I could see the men who had been 
holding me.  They were all cuffed and surrounded by agents.  
The one who had been on the phone with Mulder earlier was 
being lifted onto his feet.  He was one bloody, bruised 
mess.  As a doctor the thought of one human being doing this 
to another repulsed me.  As someone who had been held 
captive by this monster I had to hold back the urge to smile 
at the site.  Mulder untied my gag and started working on my 
arms and legs.

"How did you find me?"

"I tried to call you this morning.  Then this afternoon I 
heard you scream over that phone.  I knew it was you, 
Scully.  I wanted to kill him right then and there.  I 
called Skinner and the SAC for this case.  We followed them 
out here."

As soon as Mulder freed my hands I started hitting him.  Oh 
yeah I hit him.  I hit him with everything I had.  He just 
smiled though, grabbed my arms and pulled me into him.  I 
lay my head into his chest and breathed him in as deep as I 
could.

"Don't you EVER pull another ditch like that again."  I said 
with as much force as each blow I had delivered.

"Shhhhhh, I'm sorry, Scully, I'm sorry."

I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could.  I wasn't 
about to let go.  Even when I heard Skinner behind us 
clearing his throat.

"Agent Mulder, your shoulder is cut, we need to get you to a 
doctor.  And we will need a statement from you, agent 
Scully."

"No, Sir."

"Excuse me, agent Scully?"

"No, Sir."  Mulder and I say in unison this time.

The silence that followed was tangible.  We stood motionless 
for a few minutes.  When I felt Mulder's lips come to rest 
on the top of my head I swear I almost moaned.  I wrapped 
myself even tighter around him.

"Agents?"  Damn, didn't Skinner leave YET?

Mulder lifted his head to answer and I missed it already.

"We have some things to wrap up first, Sir.  I already have 
the doctor I need and you will get agent Scully's 
statement."

I didn't turn to look at Skinner, but I could picture his 
face clear as day and couldn't hold back a laugh.  Mulder 
pulled back a little and I reluctantly loosened my hold on 
him.  He looked down at me and motioned with his head that 
it was time to go.  He took my hand and led me through the 
trees to the road.  

"I know a horrible place where we can get a cup of coffee." 
He said.  "I met a beautiful woman there last night, she 
wouldn't dance with me though."

We stopped outside the car and he just looked down at me, 
into my eyes.  Neither of us were willing to break the gaze.  

"Mulder"

"Hmmm?"  It sounded more like a purr than a question.  I 
don't think I have ever heard a grown man purr.

"I love you too."

I couldn't help but smile at my own proclamation.  I saw a 
tear start to form in Mulder's eyes and reached up to wipe 
it away, then amended my statement.

"But I don't want to have coffee or dance with you right 
now.  I just want to go home?"

He looked more than a little disappointed, but opened my 
door for me, got in and started the car.  

"Mulder" I said fighting back a smile.

"Yeah, Scully?"

"Your home."

I was rewarded with that Mulder smile that lights up the 
night as the car pulled away.

"Yes ma'am."

END